10 Unexpected Ways Appliances Have Improved Our Lives

March 1st, 2012

Appliance Talk

Appliances are great, you probably think on a daily basis. Ha-ha, we know, some of our best friends are appliances. But there’s so much more to them than meets the eye. Here’s 10 reasons why:

1. Washing Machines: Wallet missing? Can’t find those vital receipts? If you’re like me, invariably you’ll find them in the pants you put in the last load of laundry – thereby proving that washing machines are an indispensable way to find important documents and money. They may be slightly damp or shredded into pulp, but – phew – there they are!

2. Robotic Vacuum Cleaners: Not only do they provide a handsfree alternative to vacuuming, they also help you get used to having a robot around the house. This will be particularly important for children – they will be the ones to inherit an Earth ruled by robotic overlords. We recommend you encourage your kids to practice worshipping your vacuum, surrendering to its will, and going “what is your bidding, master” every time it enters the room.

3. Dishwashers: A terrific way to save time washing dishes, sure – but also a superb way to use water! With Warragamba Dam dangerously close to peaking, using a dishwasher 10 times a day will alleviate the problem.

4. Toasters: Not just a great way to toast, also the perfect wedding gift when you’re attending the nuptials of a couple you don’t particularly care about. Wrap one up in newspaper, chuck it in the general direction of the gift table, and stride toward the open bar at the reception with your head held high!

5. Dryers: Suffered a sudden loss of weight as a result of a stomach parasite and none of your clothes fit? Stick your clothes in the dryer, run it for about 24 hours and yesterday’s parachute pants are today’s drainpipes. Works every time.

6. Fridges: Caught in a nuclear blast? Just step into a fridge and not only will you be protected from the explosion but transported a safe distance from the blast zone. (See also: Indiana Jones and the Cave of the Crystal Skulls.)

7. Sinks: Not only a terrific place to wash your socks – but also a superb way to replicate the swimming pool experience on a hot summer’s day! For those, like me, in a cramped apartment without access to a bath let alone a swimming pool, just fill the basin with water, and stick your head in it for about an hour. Make sure you come up for air every 10 minutes or so – and kids, no peeing in the shallow end.

8. BBQs: A great way to get a supply of honey. How so? – well, apparently they make an ideal position for a bee hive –  as one Perth resident was lucky enough to find out. Having left his BBQ (left) unused for an extended period, he lifted the cover one day to discover over 1000 killer bees had taken up residence. Joy!

9. Air-Conditioners: Not only do they cool, they also have the added advantage of making a pleasant “whooshing” noise akin, say, to the soothing sounds of the ocean or ABC cricket commentary. This helps lull us to sleep while also offering an effective amount of “white noise” that dampens the sounds of neighbours arguing/breaking-up/making-up in poorly renovated apartment blocks.

10. Coffee Machines: Dispensing “will-to-live juice” that’s often a dependency for many people (apparently), coffee machines can be an effective bargaining-tool when it comes to blackmail. Just hide the appliance from the coffee addict, and you’ll have a cranky and vulnerable minion at your service!

There you have it. Appliances Online‘s ten amazing ways appliances have improved the human condition! How have appliances improved YOUR life in unexpected ways?